Ode to L.B.

That feeling after a long day at work...  I just want to get home and get some me time.. A moment to myself.

That feeling during that long commute home.  So tired...  So dozey...  That feeling of can I make it to the daycare 20 minutes early?   Maybe I can enjoy a coffee at Tim Horton's...  in the car...  Parked.

That feeling of what it was like way back when when I had a bit of time to wind down.

Then I enter daycare...  Go to her room and watch her in action.  I put my finger to my lips  indicating to the caregivers not to let her know I have arrived.   I watch her.  She's so happy.  I'm so happy.   I guess this is what one feels when their heart is full.

She sees me...  Big smile...  From her to me..  From me to her.  She runs towards me.  I crouch down and open my arms.  Big sloppy kiss...  She hugs me and pats me on the shoulder,  points to me and says "Mommy".

Those feelings earlier are gone.  I am with her and thankful to experience this feeling...  This me kind of time.  My moment for myself...  My daughter time.

I'm Last, I Worry, I'm Sorry, I'm a Bother

I am always putting other peoples needs first, preparing for the next minute,
apologizing because I think I'm a bit of a "bother".  I'm not sure why I am like
this, but it is bothering me immensely. There is so much  would like to
accomplish.  School, my group etc., but I put my needs second to last... and I
haven't quite been able to get ahead. 

So what should I do?
 - Me first... Tell hubby I need a couple of hours to work on my assignments during the
weekend, give him a list to get my s*** done... heaven forbid if I forget his
requests.

 - Live in the now... Stop worrying (so much) about tomorrow.  Like I've got to
get us to save more money... I've got to lose 15lbs... I've got to make sure
Missy Miu has no cavities by the time we get to her first dental appointment. So
I'm changing my thoughts to...
 - take the 407 only twice per week, go to bed earlier and buy two cups of coffee
instead of three, get on my bike two times per week, Have Missy brush her teeth after each meal.

- Stop thinking I'm a nuisance... tone down the pride thing.  I act like I can do
everything on my own and when I need help, I think no one will be there for me.

She's sleeping.. what do I do?

Of course I have been over thinking how to get this started... for like a month.
Then my daughter fell asleep just before we were to head out to an event.  Hubby
said, "I'm going to take a nap."  I thought it would be a great opportunity to
get a head start on laundry and do a detailed grocery list for the rest of the
month. I kid you not.

I looked over at her, saw her sleeping peacefully and decided to do something for
me. I caught up on my course assignments watered my garden (I do love gardening). 

An hour and a half later she was up and I had an amazing day with her. 

Hanging out at the Highland Creek Festival

Sharing our first ice cream cone.

I can honestly say I enjoyed my time with her more because I took care of me.

TIME

Finding time in our day to day lives for a mother is like searching for the Holy Grail, trying to find the Lost City of Atlantis or capturing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…

I think you get my point.

It seems pretty impossible at times. Whether you work outside of the home or you stay at home, the majority of your day is usually spent accomplishing goals other than your own and ensuring that the health and well-being of people other than yourself is well taken care of. By the time you can squeeze out a moment for yourself, you’re usually so tired that your only achievement is brushing your teeth and crawling pitifully into bed.

Okay, that may sound a bit dramatic. But you know what I mean.

Time is fleeting and even more so when you are a mother; when you spend most of the time you have each day caring for other people. You do this without resentment (most of the time) and without expectation of repayment (usually); but it is not always the easiest thing to accept that your time is not your own and not always considered or appreciated.

Not even in the bathroom!

Come on, I can’t be the only one who’s had an audience of at least one precocious preschooler while in the ‘loo’! I hope not, or else I just revealed a tad too much. Ahem…moving on!

While sacrificing personal time is one of the things that makes mothers the subject of many poems and recipients of gratitude in acceptance speeches all over the world; it can be a detriment to our health and happiness. You end up neglecting your own goals like reading that novel; writing your own novel; working out; going back to school; getting your hair done; running a marathon or climbing Mt. Everest. Big or small, they’re your goals and important to you. Even if it is as simple as going out for coffee with a friend without the children along for the ride; it is essential that you take some time for yourself to do the things that may be important only to you.

It helps to take the edge off and helps you to go back to being the ‘Super Mom’ that your family needs you to be.

Well, that and a glass (maybe a bottle) of wine.

I’m just sayin…

Joya is a married mother of 2. Aside from her family, her passions are writing and shopping. She blogs about motherhood at http://supermomdoesntlivehere.wordpress.com.  She has also just started a gift basket business called LIFE HAPPENS GIFT BAGS & BASKETS; where her goal is to help people celebrate even the smallest occasions. You can check out her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/lifehappensbagsbaskets .