Ode to L.B.

That feeling after a long day at work...  I just want to get home and get some me time.. A moment to myself.

That feeling during that long commute home.  So tired...  So dozey...  That feeling of can I make it to the daycare 20 minutes early?   Maybe I can enjoy a coffee at Tim Horton's...  in the car...  Parked.

That feeling of what it was like way back when when I had a bit of time to wind down.

Then I enter daycare...  Go to her room and watch her in action.  I put my finger to my lips  indicating to the caregivers not to let her know I have arrived.   I watch her.  She's so happy.  I'm so happy.   I guess this is what one feels when their heart is full.

She sees me...  Big smile...  From her to me..  From me to her.  She runs towards me.  I crouch down and open my arms.  Big sloppy kiss...  She hugs me and pats me on the shoulder,  points to me and says "Mommy".

Those feelings earlier are gone.  I am with her and thankful to experience this feeling...  This me kind of time.  My moment for myself...  My daughter time.

Introducing The Financial Mama Series

Before going on maternity leave we made some attempts to save for the income we would soon be missing. We definitely could have done a better job. We had to live very tight during my time from work... Sometimes uncomfortably so.

I am back to work now and have many "what could have been done differently" thoughts. I want to be financially secure, provide for our daughter, go on a vacation once a year.... And oh yeah.... Retirement is not to far away.

On Mondays we will be posting the "Financial Mama Series". I will share with you what I'm doing to get my financial house in order. I would love for you to follow... Maybe we can all do this together. I would love to hear about what you are doing in terms of money in your household. Any tips or suggestions? Please share.

So before I enter 2014, let me introduce you to my first challenge:

Can you track how you normally spend your money?  In some aspects this may be a piece of cake for me.   I have a spreadsheet that states unequivocally where my money goes in terms of my fixed expenses.

Fixed Expenses: The bills that are paid out at the same time and are a fixed amount.   ie: rent,  car payment, daycare

I also have listed my variable expenses.

Variable Expenses: Money that is spent on  any particular day and at any total.  ie:  groceries, vehicle gas,  hair appointments

I do an OK job at tracking my variable expenses. I have a cute pink notebook (and it is cute) in my bag.  Flip through and you will see a section of vehicle gas.  My budget is $240 per month.   Whenever I fill up I subtract what I spent and am aware of how much money I have left.  Same for my $75 clothing budget and $400 grocery budget.

I get in trouble with the variable category I call "Miscellaneous".  Why am I calling this miscellaneous anyway?  This is the money that goes to STUFF.  Could be coffee...  a movie...  a blouse....  Wait! !

I HAVE A CLOTHING BUDGET!!

See what I mean? You will probably find that you have a hard time finding out what happened within your variable category.

Like me, you may think this first task is a difficult one.  (why am I envisioning Jack Nicholson yelling that I can't handle the truth?)  This task is just to give you a visual heads up about where your money is going.  Easy peasy.

It is usually advised that you look over 6 months of expenses.  I am using two as I have been collecting a full paycheque during this time.

A Mamalicious Year In Review

A year ago Missy Miu was 4 months old and I was one lonely Mama.   I knew there were groups of Moms who were getting out and keeping each other company.   I was experiencing so much despair that the thought of being sociable would paralyze me.  Many of the Mom outings were a bit of a commute.   Going to work entails a 52 km drive one way.  The long trips to mingle with the baby became another excuse not to get out.

I soon realized that at this point maternity leave was going to be sad experience.  The only way to get around this was to create my own group.   I mean surely I would be a social butterfly if it was my group.   If I planned events in my area then the excuse of a long commute would be removed.

Thanks to Meetup.com I was able to get some great ideas and form a mommy group Scarborough Pickering Mamalicious Mamas.   Almost a year later we have over 200 Mamas.   Many going through the same predicament of loneliness.  

We are all excited about being a parent, but were not really forewarned that sometimes it would be difficult to find other children for our little ones to mingle with,  peer support and things to do. It's pretty exciting to know that we had Mamas participate in almost 200 events.   I would like to thank the volunteer Mama's who host many of our outings.

Our group has evolved.   We have new Mamas and Back to work Mamas.   We are listening.   Even though Moms are returning to work they still want to keep in touch with each other.  They had lots of baby questions and they have now turned to toddler questions.

I'm excited about out first Weekend Mama event taking place next month on a Saturday.   Any member can attend however it is a great opportunity for back to work Mamas to catch up with each other and for their toddlers to mingle.

We have accomplished a lot with the Mamalicious Mamas and would like to continue.     We have some great ideas and are looking forward to working with businesses in the community.

I am back to work,  juggling family life but excited about upcoming developments for the Mamalicious Mamas.

Back To Work After Baby

Photo from SheKnows
Decide on child care
We found one 3 months prior to my return to work. Two weeks before, I hung out with Missy Miu for two to three hours over a few days. The following week... it was project "cold turkey". I dropped her off for six hours. The first two days were tough. On day three, I was shown pictures of her playing. (insert angels singing here)

Have a back-up plan
With little one going to child care, there is no doubt they will get sick. Make arrangements between you and your partner about how vacation and sick days will be managed. We also made arrangements with my Mama to take over on occasion in case Missy Miu becomes ill.

Share responsibilities
While at home on maternity leave, it made sense that I take on most of the household responsibilities. Now it is an even playing field. Well sort of. Negotiate a chore list and discuss what you and your partner can handle. You'll be less stressed.

Prep! Prep! Prep!
Get as much ready the night before. This is one rule I live by. Baby's and my clothing is picked out the evening before. Diaper bag is packed and my lunch is made. I have created a meal plan since I have less time to stop for fast food and (sigh) less money to spend on it. I have to work on a housekeeping schedule as it is no fun doing all the chores on the weekend. Uhm... I even make two days of breakfast so I can pop it into the microwave oven at 4:30 am. (I am aware that you just rolled your eyes)

Get some sleep
It was in the news the other day that once our little ones sleep through the night, we don't sleep through the night. Momsomnia (look it up). Getting back into the work routine will be hard on the mind and body. Try to get into bed at a reasonable hour. Establish a routine where you can grab a shower, change into some comfy sleep wear and get into bed. You don't have to sleep at that point. Grab a book, watch your favourite program. You'll probably fall asleep in your relaxed state.

Keep your Mama friends
No doubt you probably made some Mama friends while you were off. Make a pact to keep those friendships when you return to work. We compared notes on baby during maternity leave... You still have things in common as your little one grows and /or as your return to your career.

Now that you're back
Embrace your new role- You are providing for your family and showing your little one that Mamas can wear many hats. You also benefit with fulfillment that comes with your job. I more empowered being back at work. Especially now that I am bring more money our household.

Use you lunch time for time to get some time yourself.

Don't feel guilty if you enjoy the work / life balance.

Focus on the positives. I really cherish the time I spend with Missy Miu and now we can easily save for our first vacation with her.

So Mamas... Do you have tips to add?

Budget Wardrobe Rebuild

I will be returning to work in three weeks. Clothing is not usually a priority but I desperately need to go shopping. For the last year and a half I have been wearing maternity apparel or loose and very casual clothes.

I have tried the work clothes I have. Either do not fit or they feel outdated.

My back to work clothing budget is $300 and what I pick up must be:
- machine washable
- on sale
- transitional (can it take me from end of summer into winter)
- bold and classic

I love shopping, but hate wasting time. For the most part I like to head out to stores where my trip may be successful.

Today it was out to Loblaws Joe Fresh. The plan was to look at their summer fashions on sale. I went into the fitting room and came out with six pieces.

I like these ($14.94) red jeans. They have spandex. They're great as a summer or fall pant and would look great with boots come winter. The grey two tone tank ($6.94) is fun with these jean and I can't wait to try it with my black blazer.

The tan pants ($19.94) are a size 8. They are a tad big but are comfy. I walk quite a bit at work. Once I drop some inches I will take them to a seamstress. The cement print top looks very professional.

I love the way my arms look in this halter styled dress ($19.94). It's fully lined.

And my favourite piece.... This navy and white sleeveless dress. I love pockets on a dress! ($14.94).

For six pieces I spent $91.64!

So Back-To-Work Mamas.... Where do you shop to fall into style?